Do PRETTY GIRLs Rock?

Oprah's LifeClass 6: Aging Well

Value Card: The things that are listed in your mind that validate who you are and how you perceive yourself.

Beauty is examined in this course....and I definitely have to chime in.

Don't you hate the females that have to remind you of how pretty they are? #HATEIT

And please do NOT let a guy be interested in them! They always tell the whole story of how the guy tried to get with them and how many times this particular guy told her how beautiful she was....blah, blah, blah. #HATEIT

I have never been the type to be hung up on looks. Growing up, I wore glasses, braces, and I have huge frog eyes. (LOL:) I was called frog eyes and my very own cousin told me that the only thing I had going for myself was my long hair. I wasn't noticed by guys until I was in junior high. So I never defined my worth or my value by looks, because I didn't think I was pretty. But I was Smart and that was my ticket.

Although, I didn't personally discover it, I realized I was pretty because the popular/cute guys started to pay me attention. Even with the braces...As the years passed, education was is still more important to me than anything. My parents were focused on the grades and it was the only thing they asked of me. It was a simple demand because I love to learn. Even after becoming popular, I never allowed my looks to define me. I always wanted to be known as the smart girl...and I was became one of the pretty girls who was is smart. I never judge people based on their looks. (Never have/Never will). I see others' attributes and/or how they treat me/others. I believe it's important to understand that we don't choose gender, race, and especially how we look. That idea alone has been my philosophy anytime I have this discussion. There are many articles about pretty vs. ugly and thinner vs. fat and the huge difference in treatment.

Are parents who constantly tell their children they are pretty/beautiful/handsome damaging their children?

Are they telling their children this because the child really isn't that nice looking---so they build the child's confidence and self-esteem with this affirmation?

If the child or you are totally consumed with looks, aren't you conforming to society's standards?

Do you understand that as you age, your looks diminish?
(So, then what?)

If beauty is your calling card, at some point that is gong to fade.
If you haven't done the inner work and haven't made the connection to begin to understand that your inner life is your real life, then you have a lot of work to do. That is really who you are. Everything external decipates and goes away. But if you have cultivated the internal connection that your inner life, your inner wisdom, and your inner spirit is a connection to what really matters in life, the aging process will not be difficult because you will know who you really are and you will except it and stop resisting and pushing against what it is. You will be beautiful inside out and that combination changes worlds.

The understanding of who you really are is necessary as you get older because as you begin to lose the external attraction, it is your real responsibility to cultivate your inner attraction.


Embrace you and every little fault. We are living in a society where people are insane with how they look. How shallow...Again, beauty fades away and then the next-most talked about beautiful  little momma is going to take your place. It's just the cycle of life. It's nature...

I was a skinny minny forever. I had two kids and became THICK. OMG...SMH...I was attached to feeling like I had to lose the weight verses living healthier...I completed two forty day fasts where I only ate vegetables and fruits and after losing about twenty-six pounds the first time and about twenty the second time, I gained the weight in other areas. Why did I feel like I couldn't embrace my new curves?

Because I was conforming.

About two weeks ago, I was having a conversation with a friend and she is like a size two or four, not because of exercise and eating right (THAT is NOT the CASE), but she just has one of those bodies that snaps back into place. I don't. I was wearing a cute Bebe skirt and we were having a conversation about weight and I was arguing her down that the skirt I was wearing was a size six. Well, long story short, we were face to face and I had to prove to her that I was in a size six. I twisted that skirt around and it said Size 8. In that moment, I let go of trying to trick myself into thinking I was still "small." Because I wasn't. Once you pass a size 5/6 you are thick. Now I embrace my curves and I eat healthy and exercise because I want to. I am totally focused on maintaining my current size and being healthy.

Remember the trade-off for physical deterioration--->your mind, soul, and spirit gets better and healthier. That is a perfect trade-off, especially since you really live forever.

Developing a sense of your inner value helps you be less attached to external qualities.

The inner cultivation of self is the most important gift you can give to you.

Do pretty girls rock? Yes...but everything external changes. 

My value card looks like this:

ü    ❥ In Love with God (I love Him more than anything)

ü        ❥ In Love with Me (I love myself just as much as I love God)

ü     ❥ Love to help others (I love helping and supporting others)

      ❥ I am beautiful inside out. (Self Explanatory)

      ❥Wisdom is my guide

      ❥Education is siginificant

      ❥ I am a mother, wife, and kind-hearted person

      ❥ Thirty looks good on me.

      ❥ Period. Now create your value card, if you don't have one or if you need to throw the old one away.

Class 6 adjourned.....

Statements in bold are quotes from Oprah

The Lesson of Acceptance
Class 1: The False Power of Ego
Class 2: Letting go of Anger
Class 3: You become What You Believe
Class 4: The Truth will Set You Free
Class 5: Everybody has a Calling